“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” – unknown
If your child has ever told you that you’re SO mean, pat yourself on the back. If a family member has ever pulled you aside at a get together and said “stop being such a mean mom”, like someone did to me, give yourself a round of applause!
I’m not going to lie, the first time I heard someone tell me I was a mean mom I was completely caught off guard! Me? A mean mom? I didn’t even know how to respond.
But you know what? I love my daughter more than anything in this world and I am trying to raise a respectful, polite and all-around good human being. If that makes me a mean mom, then I happily accept the title! I want to share with you the 10 reasons why I have been told that I am “mean”!
1. I am not my daughter’s friend
I am her Mother, I am not her friend! Do I love to spend time together and paint our nails or go shopping? Absolutely! But at the end of the day, I am her parent and that will always come first.
2. She goes to bed even if we have people over
I love when we have people over, whether they are our friends or family, but when it is her bed time she goes to bed! Of course, this isn’t easy to do and goes over like a lead balloon but I believe that her getting enough sleep is SO important. She is not the same person the next day if she hasn’t slept long enough! So, if you come to my house at 7:30 p.m., you will be saying goodnight to her at 8:00!
3. No, she doesn’t need a snack before dinner
This is one that has DEFINITELY gotten me a dirty look or two from others! Even if we are at someone else’s house, I will say no if you offer her a piece of candy before dinner. Some people think this is ridiculous, so I have been told many times, but that is one thing I almost never bend on!
4. She will say “please” and “thank you”
Yes, I will remind her to say “please” and “thank you”! I am trying to raise her to have manners and treat others with respect. I think that manners are super important and something we have instilled in her since she was a baby!
5. She has chores at home
Now that she is six years old, she has a few chores that she is responsible for at home! Each day, she has to make her bed, help feed the dogs and put the clean silverware away. She also helps with other things around the house like vacuuming and dusting! I love teaching her the importance of responsibility at a young age!
6. There are no electronics at the dinner table
There are occasions when we sit in the living room and watch a movie or a TV show together! But otherwise, if we are at the dining room table then all electronics are put away. She tells me all the time, “I hate family dinners”, but one day she will be thankful for the time together during dinner! The TV, cell phones and iPad can wait.
7. Homework is done before anything else
As soon as we get home from school, we go through her folder and see what she did that day! She loves showing us the different papers that she has and grades she got. She gets out her pencil and does her homework before she does anything else! Once that is out of the way, she turns the TV on or has a snack!
8. When I say “no”, I mean “no”
No matter how hard she stomps her feet or gets upset, I would rather carry her out of a store kicking and screaming than give in to her tantrum. There were plenty of times when she was little that we took her outside at a restaurant or at a store until she calmed down! No means no in our family, regardless of where we are or who else is there!
9. I am not her maid
This is a big one for me! I am not her maid. If you take that toy out, you can put it away. It is that simple! If she needs help cleaning up, I will absolutely get on the floor and help her. But I will not clean up after her while she moves on to another activity! This is definitely something we butt heads over and something that frustrates her but that’s okay, it is worth the argument!
10. I don’t care what the other kids at school can do
I don’t care if the kids at school get to watch scary movies. No, I don’t care if they think Disney Junior is for babies. Their parents get to make the rules at their house and we have the rules at ours! I will NOT change what I believe or let her do so that she is “cool”!
Being a mean mom is not for the faint of heart. You will have tears. You will have family members who don’t agree with you. It will sting when your child gets angry and calls you mean for making her eat that piece of broccoli before getting up from the table.
We are all just trying to do the best we can! No parent is perfect and we all make mistakes. Don’t let ANYONE make you feel bad for the way you are raising your kids!
Embrace it, mama. You are doing great.
Can you relate? Have you ever been called a mean mom? I would love to hear from you! Comment below or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org! XOXO