“I’m not a good mom; I’m not a bad mom. I’m the mom that I am and I try very hard, and when I fail, that’s okay” – Kristen Bell
Everyone knows those days. Those days where you just feel like everything you are doing is wrong and even a little lost. Let’s face it: parenting is hard and at one point or another, each of us has been frustrated and felt like a failure. I want you to know it’s okay. You are not a failure, I promise!
Last Sunday was tough here at my house. It was just one of those days where no matter what I said, Olivia wasn’t listening and was being defiant. If I said the sky was blue, she would tell me it was purple. Yup, one of those days! I will be the first to admit that I was counting down to bedtime, and I am not proud to say that!
I know we have all been there. Sometimes we lose our temper and sometimes we need a break. Some days are wonderful while others are stressful and long. I have found a few things that really help me feel better in those moments!
The ideas I am going to share with you may seem simple, but I can almost guarantee you they will help you calm down and redirect the situation!
- Go for a walk– Get together with your kids and go outside for a walk. Right there in that moment. Grab shoes, jackets, scarves and anything you need depending on the weather and go outside. Hold hands with your little one and marvel at nature around you. Being outside will help you feel more at peace and help your kids calm down. It doesn’t have to be a long walk, 10 minutes around the block will be enough!
- Talk– I don’t know about you but when I am feeling frustrated or angry, the last thing I want to do is talk. But I have found that it diffuses the situation so much faster than being loud. Sit down on the couch with your kids and talk about what is happening. Tell them how you’re feeling and let them tell you their feelings! It may not solve the issue but it will help everyone take a breath.
- Bath time– This may seem strange but let me explain. When we had a rough day last weekend, I had all electronics turned off and I told Olivia it was shower time! Since she LOVES taking a shower or bath, she was super excited. Now of course, she needed to take a shower anyway, but she didn’t realize that. After washing her, I let her play with the toys she has in there and I sat on the floor outside the bathroom and read my book. Both of us were busy doing something we enjoyed and we also had some time to ourselves. When she got out of the shower, the rest of the night went smoother because we were both in a better mood!
- Take deep breaths– I can see you rolling your eyes at me but, bear with me. I am someone who has anxiety, and has had it since I was young, and I was taught deep breathing as a method to calm down. I am so glad that I learned this technique because it has helped me in so many situations as a parent. Take one full minute and breathe in and out. My husband and I have taught our daughter to breathe in situations too! If she gets angry or upset we tell her to breathe and she takes a few really deep breaths and is able to control herself.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself– I know this is cliche but it is so important! It is SO easy to feel bad about losing your patience or talking to your kids harshly, but don’t dwell on it. Feel it and let it go. Don’t unpack and stay there. Move on and do the best you can do! No parent is perfect just as no child is perfect! From one parent to another, you are not alone!
I would love to know what you do on those tough days as a parent! Comment below or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org! XOXO